Turning Feelings & Problems into Success
Happy Monday, and if you're not reading this on a Monday, then happy whatever day it is for you! Life is so exciting, and I’m so grateful that I get to share it with you on this platform!
As we kick this off, I want to remind you to check-in with yourself. How are you doing today? Are you overwhelmed, sad, upset, or happy? Are you feeling all the feels? What's going on with you? Now I want to take this a step further and remind you to check-in with yourself regularly.
I know “regularly” is a hard word to live by, but if you’re not checking in with yourself regularly, you need to get on it because taking care of yourself is one of the most important things you can do.
Every time you don't check in with yourself and take steps to elevate your energy, you're missing out on a crucial part of your journey through life — self-mastery. You're missing the opportunity to understand how your mind and body work so you can continuously work towards being the best version of yourself.
Why am I telling you this today? Because as I'm putting this message together, I don’t feel high-vibe at all. I’m overwhelmed, sad, and tired. Now, you’re probably wondering why I’m putting this message together today at all. Because I want you to know that life — even my life — is not always sunshine and rainbows, high-energy vibes, and excitement. We're human beings. And as humans, we have these things called feelings and emotions.
If we’re ever going to make the impact and income we’re capable of, we have to know how to check-in with our feelings and leverage them to build a successful life — personally and professionally. So, for the next few minutes, I’m inviting you into the thick of it with me while I share two struggles I’m facing, how I respond to my feelings, and the steps I’m taking to overcome my problems.
I’m confident that this message can completely change your life if you let it. So, let’s GO!!
Identify Your Feelings
When we’re in the midst of life and having emotions, it’s easy to start feeling like everything is falling apart. In these cases, I often find that life isn’t falling apart. There are actually specific things that are making me feel emotional and overwhelmed. When I can name them and identify what’s triggering negative feelings, I can move towards more positive feelings.
So when you start to feel like everything is going wrong or just plain overwhelmed, ask yourself, “Why am I feeling all these feelings?” Slow down enough to acknowledge that life isn’t falling apart and see the things that are challenging or hard.
As I’m creating this, I’m sitting in my last full week in our house. Pat, my husband, and I are currently in the process of moving out of our home and into an RV. We had all of our furniture and stuff taken today. The stuff we’re keeping is already at my mom's house. And everything else scattered around that doesn’t fit into the RV is going in the dumpster.
Truly, it’s crazy and amazing! But there have been so many emotions as we’ve been going through things and getting rid of stuff. This process of leaving our home comes with a lot of emotions. Yes, we are leaving to do so many exciting things. We're thrilled about the adventures ahead, but it's still a change and a soul transition. Change and soul transitions can be hard, especially when you're not leaving because you’re unhappy.
Have you ever experienced that? Letting go of something good to step into something better. It’s bittersweet. Exactly like the time I left my job as a teacher. I loved teaching. I didn't leave because I was unhappy. I left because I had a better opportunity. It’s a lot like ending a relationship, not because you had a fight or someone cheated, but because you know you’re not the right fit together.
That’s where we’re at right now. We love our home. We bought this home intending to be here for 10+ years and raise our family in it. We purchased this home with plans to host so many more bonfires, parties, and get-togethers in the backyard. But there was this feeling that just kept growing, telling us it’s time to get out of here — to go and travel and explore.
Finally, we’re going! It’s exciting, but it’s heavy. As I’ve been able to name my feelings and what’s stirring them up, I’ve started to feel a little more in control of my life — life doesn’t feel like it’s falling apart as much.
If you didn’t answer this question at the beginning of the post, answer it now: What are you feeling? What is going on in your life that is causing or bringing up those feelings? I only want you to answer the questions. Don’t rush to solutions or drown out the feelings. Just identify them.
Feel Your Feelings
When we have feelings, especially the heavy, sad, and negative ones, we typically want to push them away and stop them. Pushing those feelings away and going numb to them hinders and paralyzes our growth. Here's why: You need to feel in order to heal, and you need to heal in order to grow.
If those feelings don’t come up, you won’t have anything telling you that something in life isn’t as good as it could be. Without feelings, there would be no reason to change. When feelings come up, you don't need to run away from them. You don't need to try to hide them or shove them under the rug because they do not define you.
Did you read that?! Feelings don't define you. I used to think that feeling any sad or negative feeling meant I was weak or unsuccessful. But in reality, emotions are just part of being a human. If you need to remind yourself of that now and again to give yourself permission to feel, do that. Just say, “Feelings are human. I am allowed to feel.”
Just a few hours ago, I was sitting downstairs cross-legged on the floor because we don't have any furniture. And my husband, who is extremely heart-centered, asked, “What's wrong?” When I responded, “Mmmm, I’m okay.” He was like, “What do you need from me? What can I do to help?” And I said, “Baby, I don't need you to do anything. I just need to feel.”
Tribe, sometimes you just need to feel, and there’s no way around it. Whether it’s in life or business, there are seasons of sadness, frustration, uncertainty, and doubt. Feel them. Don’t fight them. You have to be able to feel what’s going on inside you if you’re ever going to get to the other side of your challenges.
Massive growth is waiting for you on the other side of your feelings. Whenever you have doubt, fear, or sadness in any area of your life, it’s imperative that you feel the emotions, but then know for damn sure that on the other side is growth — a more healed, complete, and successful version of yourself. One who is worth feeling for and fighting for! Got it?
So, remember those feelings you identified in the previous section? I want you to sit with them. Feel them. Let them be real and part of your humanness. Now say out loud, “On the other side of these feelings are more impact and income. I choose to feel these feelings and move through them.”
Get Bigger Than Your Problem
Two days ago, I was reading one of my favorite books, Secrets of The Millionaire Mind. The section that stood out to me was what the author called “wealth principles.” Specifically, he taught about how wealthy people and poor people see problems differently. According to author T. Harv Aker, “Rich people are problem-solvers, while poor people are problem-focused.
In other words, when rich people see a problem, they think, “Okay, how can I overcome this?” When poor people see a problem, they think, “Oh my gosh, this is going to be so hard!” And just like that, poor people make their problem bigger than themselves. The trick to being successful and thinking like a rich person is to become bigger than your problem. You become bigger than your problem by taking a good look at it and asking, “How can I grow through this?”
The problem Pat and I are currently facing is moving out of our house. Like I said earlier, we’re super overwhelmed. But on top of moving out of our house, we’re juggling like five different timelines: mine, his, my clients, my employees, and moving. It’s a lot! Instead of looking at it and being like, “Oh my God, I'm overwhelmed.” I stopped and asked myself, “How can I grow through this problem?”
Did you catch what I didn’t ask? I didn’t ask, “What's the solution?” I didn’t ask that because many times we have a problem and we smack a solution on it. The solution ends up being a band-aid. And the problem comes back bigger than it was before.
That’s not what I want. If I’m going to spend time on a problem, I want it to be gone when I’m done working on it. So I asked, “How the hell do I grow bigger than this problem?” Such an empowering question, right? After I asked that question, my husband and I decided that we need a more comprehensive team. To grow bigger than the problem of juggling a million things at once, we need to hire someone to run this show.
By asking, “How can I grow through the problem?” we were able to grow bigger than our problem. We didn't slap a quick-fix band-aid on it until the problem returned. We eliminated it. We stepped into the next version of ourselves so that we never, ever, ever, see this problem again.
Tribe, I want you to go back to those problems you named. Ask yourself, “How can I grow bigger than this problem?” Write out as many answers as you can. Now, take some action!
Why We Need to Be Thankful for Problems
When we choose to see our problems as stepping stones to the next version of ourselves, we can be thankful for our feelings. Instead of ignoring our feelings, we can say, “Thank God for the feelings of overwhelm, sadness, and frustration!” Why? Because if we didn't have those feelings, we wouldn't have had this incredible opportunity to grow massively. Do you see that? This shift of choosing to see problems as opportunities instead of hardship will completely change the trajectory of your life and business.
And here’s something else I want you to know before I wrap this up: Hard feelings and happy feelings can coexist. You can 100% be sad and overwhelmed with a problem while being excited about the growth you’re going to experience because of it!
If you need more individualized coaching on how to grow your impact and income, check out my Impact to Income Academy. I’d love to have you join us!
That’s it for today, Tribe! Thank you for sharing your time with me. If this message struck a chord with you, share it with a friend. Please take a quick screenshot of this and share it on Instagram. Tag me, @thejennkennedey, and let me know how you’re feeling or what you learned! Connecting with you all on social media is truly one of my favorite things!
I can’t wait to chat with you all again soon!