The "How" Behind It All

Hey Tribe! Happy Friday feels! How are you doing? I am doing great! I’m amazing! I’m wonderful! Why? Because I tell myself I’m great, amazing, and wonderful! Seriously you guys, the practice of positive affirmation has been life-shifting for me. It’s been almost a year and a half now, and it’s incredible how I’ve been able to program my mind and become the woman that I want to be. And so many other women are experiencing this too! I post affirmations on my Instagram, and every week other women are saving, sharing, and saying them, and their lives are changing for the better!

But I’m not here today to talk to you about affirmations, as awesome as they are! No, today, I want to get in deep and talk to you guys about a huge question: Who do you want to be?

Seriously, ask yourself: Who do you want to be? What kind of woman do you want to be? What kind of life do you want to live? And how are you going to become that woman and live that life?

I ask myself these questions too. I love the new year, so back in January, I wrote down exactly who I want to become. I put all my goals for myself down on paper, and that piece of paper is in a picture frame behind my desk in my office! My husband, Chris, and I talk about this all the time. 

Here’s what it all comes down to: I am the most important priority in my life. It sounds selfish, but it’s not. It’s smart. I can’t be anything—not a coach, wife, friend, leader, anything—if I am not the best version of myself. And that’s true for you, too. You cannot be a CEO or a president or the best wife or friend or whatever else you want to be if you aren’t happy and thriving in your life and your body. And to be happy and thriving, you have to invest in yourself and in some great mentors who can help you get to where you want to be.

That’s why today, I’m here to share with you a little bit of the “how” behind my own journey to become the person I want to be and offer you my best advice and perspectives to help you do it too!

A Little Bit About Me

Okay guys, you all know I’m transparent with you, so I just wanted to open up and tell you about some of the critical things that have helped me get to where I am and continue to help me grow and become the woman I want to be. 

Let me start by saying that I’m in California right now. I went to California maybe six or seven times last year, and it’s looking like I’m going to be here about as many times this year. Why do I keep coming back? Because in my environment back home in Michigan, I don’t have what I need. Like just point-blank, I do not have what I need to grow myself and my business back home. I’m not unhappy at home, and I don’t dislike it there, but I don’t have what I need to work toward the massive goals I have for myself.

I needed to get into an environment where I could have the resources and opportunities I need to grow. This woman that I’m becoming needs mentors, and she’s found them in California.

Let me back up a little. When I first left my teaching career to become an entrepreneur, obviously I had a lot of questions. And I tried to answer those questions by listening to a million business podcasts and checking out useful infographics and just over-consuming and over-consuming information. Not that podcasts and infographics on Instagram or whatever aren’t great, but over-consuming really general information that has nothing to do with your life, your business, or your body is not a great way to actually learn and implement new strategies that are going to be useful for you.

That’s definitely true for me, so instead of over-consuming as much content as I could find, I needed to find great mentors to force me to level up and transform into the woman I aspire to be. I found those people in Chris and Lori Harder. I actually discovered Lori through her podcast, Earn Your Happy, which I listened to constantly. I learned so much just from listening to her, and then homegirl wrote a book!

So a few other girls and I started a book club where we read Lori’s book. Now let me tell you, I was nervous to read something so vulnerable and so important to me and my personal growth with other women I didn’t know very well, but my gut told me to do it, so I did. I read through this book with my friend Kat and a couple of other women, and eventually, we decided to enter this photo contest to win tickets to Lori’s event, The Bliss Project, which was incredible. At the event, we got to meet and spend some time with Lori and her husband, Chris. Not long after that, Lori invited Kat and me to her house, and I found myself flying out to California to meet with them.

It might sound absolutely crazy to fly halfway across the country just to meet with these people, but let me tell you, for me, it is vital. Chris and Lori have helped me overcome so much bullshit in my mindset. I mean, for example, Chris is literally a money guru, and he has helped stop feeling guilty about money and to unapologetically earn it. In the Midwest, that’s just not a mindset, but Chris has helped me change the way I think about money, and that has helped me on my journey to become the businesswoman I want to be.

So I eventually joined Chris and Lori’s Mastermind, Fast Foundations, and that’s what brought me to California. And of course, I loved it, and I’ve even joined a couple of other Masterminds, including Jess Glazer’s. And you guys, I cannot overstate how much these Masterminds have helped me. My mentors Chris and Lori, their COO, Nick Carter, and Jess have taught me so much, and I have learned and grown and changed so much in the last couple of years just because of them. They are so totally worth the investment.

Finding the Perfect Mentors: A How-To Guide

Good mentors—I cannot emphasize this enough—are essential. They truly are the “how” behind my progress as a person and as a business owner. Chris, Lori, and Jess have been invaluable to me on my journey! That’s why I really want you guys to find mentors that will work for you! Here are the most important questions to ask yourself when you’re looking for a mentor:

#1. Do I admire this person? Do I look up to this person?

Okay, that may sound really obvious, but it’s essential! Remember to look at your potential mentor’s entire life when you’re considering whether or not they’re a person you can admire and look up to. Chris, Lori, and Jess are such incredible mentors for me partly because I genuinely admire them as people. They are amazing, all of them! I love their businesses, I love their lifestyles, and I love their relationships with their spouses. I really admire everything about them, and I want to emulate a lot of their lifestyle, so they’re fantastic people for me to look up to and learn from.

#2. Do I jive with them?

At first glance, it may seem like this question isn’t too different from the first one. If I admire someone and want to learn from them and implement their strategies and lifestyle choices, it makes sense that I would jive with them, right? Well, not quite. I mean, for example, what if the person you’re considering has very different spiritual beliefs than you do? What if their worldview or politics or business sense just doesn’t match up with yours? That’s okay, and they may still be amazing at what they do! They’re just probably not the right mentor for you. You can admire someone and not connect with them in a real and personal way, but to have a healthy and productive relationship with a mentor, you have to have both. 

#3. Are they teaching me the information, or are they coaching me in a way that suits me and my learning style?

Learning styles are a big deal, guys. This is something I am obsessed with because it was a huge deal when I was a teacher. Everyone has their own learning style! Some people learn best by literally just reading the information. Other people learn best through videos and video modules. Some people need lots of structure and deadlines; others need to work at their own pace. Some people succeed the most in a one-on-one environment, and others would rather collaborate in a group setting. Whatever your learning style is, it is important to find mentors who coach you in a way that suits you. 

#4. And finally: What does my gut say? Is my gut telling me that this is what I need? Or is it not right? What is going to happen if I don’t invest in this person?

Guys, I know following your gut is scary, but seriously, some of the best choices I’ve made in my life were just me following my gut. Remember how I was afraid before I joined that book club and read through Lori’s book? My gut told me to do it, so I did it despite my fear, and look where I ended up! With some of the best mentors of my life, and on a beach in California! 

So when you’re seeking a mentor, pay attention to what your gut is saying. Your gut will tell you if you’ve found the right person or if the situation is not right for you. If you ask yourself that last question and feel in your gut that you are going to fall back into old patterns and stop growing and transforming into the woman you want to be if you don’t invest in this person, go with your gut and do it!

Invest In Yourself

Here’s the bottom line: when you invest in yourself, you are forced to show up for yourself, and you are forced to become the woman you are meant to become.

Every single time I’ve transformed in my life and my body and my mind, it’s after I’ve made an investment. It sounds silly, it seems like a cliché, but you really do have to do something outside your comfort zone to evolve and grow!

And here’s the good news: you don’t have to do it only on January 1st! I know I told you that’s when I did it, and New Year's is a great time to start setting new goals and making changes in your life! You can do it today, you can do it on a Monday, you can do it on a Friday, you can choose growth whenever the hell you want to!

Here’s the gut punch, though: when I say you have to invest in yourself, of course, it’s essential to invest your time, but it’s also essential to invest your money. That’s all there is to it. It is so crucial that you actually have money on the line, that there are tangible stakes, to ensure that you show up for yourself and begin to make changes.

I know for me, I point blank will not show up if I don’t have money on the line. In the interest of being fully transparent with you guys, I’ll just put it out there: At the beginning of this year, I invested $20,000 in myself to be in the Masterminds I’ve been talking about. Guys, that’s half the amount of money I used to bring home every year when I was a teacher. If I had known even just two years ago that I would be investing that much money in myself to join Masterminds, I would have literally shit my pants. But now, even though it scares me to invest that much, I am so glad that I do it and spend the money on mentorship and coaching that helps me grow and improve myself and my life so much.

Now, I understand that such a big financial commitment is daunting, but did you notice that none of the questions I listed earlier had to do with money? That’s because it is so much more important to consider what you need first and then figure out a way to make it happen after. The best financial people in the world often say, “You can afford anything that you want, but you can’t afford everything.” If you want to invest in yourself and become the woman you were meant to be, find a way to get what you need! After all, the most successful people never ask, “Can I afford to do this?” Instead, they ask, “How can I make this work?”

You can do that too. 

How Serious Are You?

I want to wrap it up today with another big question: How serious are you about becoming the woman you want to become?

If you’re completely serious, everything else gets put on the backburner. Remember what I said earlier: I am the most important priority in my life. You are the most important priority in yours. And if you are going to prioritize yourself and become the best damn woman you can be, find the right mentors, invest the money, and unlock all your potential.

After all, new sweaters, dresses, sandals, water bottles, books, and whatever you’d otherwise be spending your money on… those things don’t matter if you are not completely happy with yourself and thriving. But investing in yourself, your career, your future, your lifestyle… that’s worth it. Those are the things that will matter.

I love you guys. I’m going to enjoy the hell out of the sunshine and the beach. I’m going to stick my toes in the sand and enjoy my California trip, knowing that I invested in myself and that I’m becoming the woman I want to be.

And I’m going to challenge you guys to do the same. Go take control, take your power, and make your life the one you were meant to live.