Getting Aligned And Building Your Confidence With Stacy Gissa
Welcome back, Tribe! It’s cold and rainy outside as I write this, but nevertheless, it’s a beautiful day! I’m so thankful you tuned into this very special episode — my guest today lights up the room no matter what the weather is.
My guest on Episode 117 of The Jenn Kennedy Show is Stacy Gissal! Stacy is a confidence and alignment coach and former nutritionist. People had been telling me I needed to meet Stacy for years. We were both in the small community of people doing nutrition, coaching in our Oakland County area, and just hearing that there was this other awesome woman in my field triggered my ego. I was jealous of Stacy without even meeting her!
A year went by before we finally connected on Instagram, and now I’m so grateful to call her my friend. Stacy has an amazing story to share about how she arrived as a confidence coach, as well as some tips to help you guys tap into your confidence and shift away from limiting beliefs. You’re going to want to read to the end — Stacy also has a special coaching offer available for a limited time!
Who Is Stacy Gissal?
Stacy Gissal is a former special needs nurse, health coach, and recovering perfectionist. I actually love how she describes herself:
“I am now a confidence and alignment coach. … who I am at my core is an explorer. I'm an adventurer. ... I'm a cheerleader of other people.” - Stacy Gissal
Before Stacy found her true passion as a confidence coach, she went to nursing school. She said at the time it felt like the “safe” option – even though she hates the sight of blood, nursing seemed like a good, stable career. When Stacy realized she wasn’t exactly cut out for nursing, she pivoted.
“I started working with special needs athletes and doing fitness stuff, which is amazing. [That led me to start] helping people with nutrition because you really get into that field when you see how impactful it is on other people's lives or on your life … That took me into confidence coaching.” - Stacy Gissal
Stacy said that it actually took her a while to land on confidence coaching. She spent years chasing the wrong dream. There was a moment when she realized that what she had been doing just wasn’t working.
“I was sitting in my kitchen. I had the six-pack abs. I had two successful growing businesses. I was living on the lake. I was working from home in this great relationship. From the outside in, it looked like everything was perfect. But, the problem was that I was fucking miserable. ... I was crumbling on the inside. I had lost my health. I was struggling to have fun. I was totally burnt out.” - Stacy Gissal
Tribe, I’ve totally been in Stacy’s position. I’ve had the abs, the job, the income, and none of that is what will make you happy. I totally admire how moments like that convinced Stacy to make a change and then to help others who may be searching for confidence in all the wrong places. Over time, Stacy’s grown into a multi-passionate entrepreneur, confidence expert, and energy healer, and she couldn’t be happier!
Looking for Confidence in the Wrong Places
One of the biggest problems many people face is that they think that certain “things” will automatically make them more confident. Stacy says in her business, there are at least three things that people chase with the misconception that those so-called “achievements” will lead to happiness.
“One of them is definitely like how you look. … It is not your fault that you think that way. It's our society that has forced us to think that way because we're told that the smaller we are and the less that we weigh, the more worthy we are of fulfilling whatever dream we have. … Just know that if you're not confident in who you are right now, you're not going to be confident when you weigh less or you're smaller.” - Stacy Gissal
I wish I could shout this from the rooftops! It’s so true — when I had six-pack abs, I kept waiting for someone to throw me a party or something. Nope! That never happened. The way you look is not going to magically give you confidence. And when you stop focusing on counting calories or stressing over how you look, you’re able to put that energy into something that truly sets your soul on fire. You can start living a passionate life. Your body will start to change in this beautiful way that makes you appreciate every single thing about it.
Stacy says the second biggest thing people believe will give them confidence is money:
“We make up this stupid-ass number that determines our success. You talk about money mindset all the time, which I love. … We were not born with a money mindset. We are taught everything. That's one of those situations where you have to take a step back and think, ‘Wait a second, like, what does financial freedom actually look like for me?’” - Stacy Gissal
For each of us, financial success looks different. For some people, it starts at $100,000, and for others, it starts at $1 million. But what few people realize is that if you measure success with a dollar amount, you’re actually chasing someone else’s definition of success. You’ll reach your income goals, realize you’re still not happy, and move the finish line even further. This can quickly lead to burnout!
Lastly, Stacy says that people make the mistake of looking for confidence in other people:
“When you're not confident in who you are, you look for someone else to bring you the happiness or the confidence that you are missing. You want that person to tell you how amazing you are all the time and show you that you are worthy because you don't feel that way. It's the relationship thinking that bringing someone else into your life is going to make you feel more confident.” - Stacy Gissal
I’ve definitely been guilty of this too! All of these mistakes feel familiar to me, and you’re feeling seen, then you’re not alone.
How to Get Confident
Ok, so if we’re all guilty of chasing confidence in the wrong way, what’s the right way? How the hell do you actually get confident? Let’s start with what being confident really means.
“My definition of confidence is having an unshakeable sense of who you are and what you have to offer this world. There is something we all have, and [confidence is] being so aligned with your person or your purpose that no person or circumstance can take that from you.” - Stacy Gissal
I love that definition for a couple of reasons. First, confidence starts from within. It starts with recognizing your own unique power. There’s no one in the world exactly like you — confidence means embracing that! And second, I love that Stacy’s definition of confidence means that you are so rock-solid in your identity, in your security, that nothing in this world can take that away from you. Because the problem is that we’re all born with confidence. Babies use their confidence to crawl and then to walk. But over time, the world strips that confidence from us.
“The problem is that our confidence is stripped away from us by what we're taught and these ingrained beliefs that we have. Things like, ‘Don't trust your body. It's never good enough.’ [Things like], ‘Take the safe route … go to college, get a job, stay at the same place for 30 years, even if you're miserable.’” - Stacy Gissal
Humans were never meant to stay in the same place (literally and metaphorically). And the first step toward building your confidence is to identify and move through those limiting beliefs. These could be things you never realized you had but that you inherited from your parents, siblings, friends, or teachers. Start to comb through what’s serving you and what’s keeping you stuck. That’s the first lesson: Figure out who you’re not.
Figure Out Who YOU Are
Once you’re able to identify those limiting beliefs, it’s time to work on learning who you are. Who are you on a deeper level?
“Who you are is not the labels that you hold. I am not just like a confidence and alignment coach and a wife and a dog mom. That's not at my true core and essence who I am. Those are just labels that I hold.” - Stacy Gissal
Stacy teaches her clients that in order to figure out who you really are and what you have to offer, you need to slow down. Slow down, tap into that divine feminine energy. This is how you pull the curtain back and figure out who you truly are.
“You can do a few things to start to tap into that divine feminine and figure out where your purpose is and who you truly are. Create more stillness in your life. [Start a] morning routine ... journaling, meditation — you can't figure out who you are if you're waiting for everyone else to tell you who you are, literally. If you're flying by the seat of your pants and go, go, go [all the time], you're never going to give yourself the space to be still to be like, ‘Hmm. Who am I exactly?’” - Stacy Gissal
Journaling and meditation are two good ways to slow yourself down. Spend some time in nature! Go for a walk! Whatever it is, find a way to make space for something magical to happen. Ask yourself, “Who am I when I’m my best self?”
“Build your life and then build your business around that and make room for the fun and the magic and the stillness.” - Stacy Gissal
Life is meant to be easy, but we make it hard. There’s a quote I hear often, that “anything worth having is worth working for.” It’s such a stupid quote because it encourages people to pursue things that aren’t in alignment with their true being. It’s one of those stories we tell ourselves that hold us back. Think about areas in your life that you’re resisting and then areas where you’re in a flow. Those flow areas are the beginning of confidence.
Why You Should Listen to This Stacy Gissal Podcast Episode Right Now...
There are so many major moments in this episode, you’re going to want to listen with a pen and paper close by to take down all of Stacy’s wisdom. If you know you’re out of alignment, but you’re not sure what to do, start by slowing down!
Stacy offers a group coaching program called the Evolve Beyond Limits Academy that is a three-month-long program to take you through these steps toward building confidence. She also has an amazing program called Confidence Crumb, daily coaching where she’ll send you a coaching message every day. Listeners can get 30 days of free text coaching from Stacy by using the code CONFIDENT at this link.
I’m not sure if it’s possible to ever be 100% confident all the time. I do know that it means we all have room to expand and grow. Wherever you guys are at — if anything that Stacy said on this amazing podcast reached you in any way, shape, or form — sign up for that free month and follow her on Instagram.
And of course, tag me, @thejennkennedy, on Instagram and tell me what makes you feel confident! I love hearing about women who find their purpose and live in alignment. And of course, here's nothing that I love more than connecting with my Tribe!
Talk to you soon!